After you give your life to God, when He commands you to
stand, you have no choice.
--Glenn Beck
It was a joy and a privilege to watch Glenn Beck, Marcus Lutrell, Alveda King, Bishop Harry Jackson, and hundreds of thousands of others
as they stood to remind the government that our rights are a free gift from God
and that no man or government of men may insert its being in between that
providential connection. Like all who
love liberty, I would have found it a blessing to have attended, but other responsibilities
took precedence.
However, during my morning reading and prayer, it “occurred”
to me—again--to ask God what His will is for my life. I wanted to know what I was or wasn’t doing
that is against His will. Was there
something I needed to do more of? Had I
failed to say ‘how high’ when God told me to jump? Every person still breathing has an assigned
mission, whether it be great or small.
After admitting publically that I had had an abortion, I received
many compliments for my courage and honesty, but I felt neither courageous nor particularly honest. It wasn’t false humility; it was simply a
feeling that there was more—as if there was something else I needed to face. And there was.
The accolades I received for that admission were watered
down by a very sobering state of affairs in my life. The one person from whom I needed love and
support has, because of my confession, repeatedly ridiculed me for it--seeming
to want to induce shame in me for being so public. The irony contained therein is that, prior to
my admission, I had avoided blogging about abortion due to the shame I had felt
for doing away with my own child.
Admitting it publicly was an attempt to free myself from that shame and it was
done in the hope that at least one young woman reading would realize that she
did not have to be the fool that I had been.
Abortion was my
greatest shame and, though my eternal guilt has been washed away by the
acceptance of Jesus Christ as my Savior, its earthly effects have been
extremely painful, spiritually and emotionally—the consciousness of sin and the regret at committing a form of suicide.
The interesting part is this: when God opens your eyes, your
spiritual vision is 20-20. The person
who wants me to feel shame for my admission once claimed to love me. But, my being continues to be shaped by God
and when He says, “Stand,” I have no choice.
And what I’ve had to face is this: anyone who would ridicule me and attempt to provoke
shame from me for my obedience to the Lord cannot possibly love me.
Even more interesting is the realization that when you are
doing what you know is morally correct in the sight of God—when you take a
stand in the name of Jesus Christ—any chastisement you receive is an indication
that you are on the right path. Additionally,
the source of that chastisement will give you a clear window into the soul of that source. Be sure to pray for that soul,
however.
In Glenn Beck’s decidedly pastoral address on the
Mall in Washington, DC, the emphasis was on Restoring Honor. The primary recipient of our honor as
individual human beings is to God and is simply outlined in Mark
12:30-31; each human being is commanded to love God with an entire heart,
and with full mental power and to love one’s neighbor as self. Love is the variant of honor that should
constantly pour from our being—the highest
type of honor.
For the longest time, I did not understand what it meant to
love God, this incorporeal being. But
how does one love a sentient earthly being?
We communicate. We talk to that person and, most importantly,
we listen to them and when we do this, we trust that the communication consists
of truth—we extend good faith to our beloved. (And
we show love by rejoicing in our beloved’s happiness and comforting him in his pain. And we never, never, never ridicule our
beloved when he reveals his soul.)
With God, loving Him has an extra component, of course. Since He’s omnipotent and omniscient, we show
our love to Him by doing what He commands and trusting that the commandments of a loving God
are meant for good. We extend to God
the ultimate in Good Faith.
After talking to Him (praying in the name of Jesus Christ)
and listening to Him (reading the Word), we do what He puts in our hearts, in
spite of any earthly consequences. We
take a stand.
So my eyes are open and my vision is clear. I will continue to stand for the unborn and
the murdered.
And I will remember that true love is (Holy) spiritual.
UPDATE: Though the story seems sad, I feel set free; very happy and peaceful. Peace is what I prayed for. It's a great birthday gift.
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