A Little Jesus-Preaching

Call this a sermon or a testimony if you wish. Myself, I’d call it survival.

In my September 11, 2005 post, my readers helped me celebrate my first voluntary baptism. One of them suggested that I read C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity. The fact is, however, that I was already in the midst of re-reading it in spells. Allow me to discuss my reading habits for a bit.

Similar to not a few people, I’m usually reading more that one book during any given time interval. For me, the quantity is usually three, for three separate types of occasions: waiting for church services to start, waiting for all other occasions and bedtime. For the last two, the subject matter of the book could be anything that strikes my interest. However, the waiting-for-services book is always theological or spiritual in nature. Most of the time, it isn’t the Bible and right now, it’s Mere Christianity. (I mentioned that it’s a re-read. I had tried to read it before--when I was a wild heathen--but it couldn’t quite get into it. What a difference a conversion makes.)

About the reading of multiple books: it’s not that I’m such a brainiac; it’s just that sitting around with my thumb up my butt boredom makes me nuts.

Now on to the book.

One of the things which occurs when one becomes a Christian is that all past sins come back up to hit one in the head like a hammer. All of the terrible stuff that you had blocked out and had no intention of ever thinking about again breaks through that mental wall behind which it was imprisoned. I call that wall the Wall of Forgetfulness and of Rationalization. Accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior bulldozes that barrier and crushes it to powder.

“Oh yes. Remember when you did that? And that? And what about that?” I was a particularly heinous person in that I did what was right for me first and foremost and to hell with who it hurt.

Have I changed? In a sense, no. My first inclination is to still do what’s right for me first and all others second (a particularly strong trait in the first-born). My second inclination, however, now is to remember what that can lead to—becoming the type of person who not only sees truth as relative, but whose method of thinking always makes her desires equivalent to what is good and real and makes the opposite true as well: what she doesn’t want becomes wrong and false.

The Bible says that Satan is the Father of Lies; these progeny include the lies that you tell yourself. And once you get into the habit of lying to yourself about yourself, it becomes almost instinctive. But when reality butts against your instinct, it interrupts the play of the little DVD of self-serving scenarios running in your head and you scream “no!” and try to turn your “truth” into reality...if you're really far gone into self-delusion, that is.

A genuine conversion to Christianity throws cold water on all of that fantasy and shows you what you are and were on your way to becoming and points you in the opposite direction. You still fall short sometimes but you know you have broken the rules and you don’t try to cover it up or rationalize it away. Simply becoming a Christian doesn’t put Big J’s approval on everything an individual Christian does. We still sin and, if the conversion is true, we feel the sting of guilt even more keenly because we know what the rules are.

But also we know that we are incapable of sticking to the rules perfectly. And, most importantly, we know that our adherence to the rules isn’t what has saved and will save us anyway.

But what happens to the person—especially the one who calls herself a Christian—who continues to willfully take the wrong turn, who consciously makes the choices dictated by her appetites? Or her pride?

There’s a reason that one’s Christianity is referred to as a “walk of faith.” Every step of the way is still fraught with choices; “Do I take the road of faith or the road of sin?” is a question that has to be, a choice that has to be made every single day—every single moment.

Lewis is ever mindful of the fact that Christians believe in eternal life; that the soul lives forever. In one of the chapters of Mere Christianity, “Morality and Psychoanalysis,” he estimates how a person’s morality affects the soul’s composition and its eventual fate.

People often think of Christian morality as a kind of bargain in which God says, “If you keep a lot of rules I’ll reward you, and if you don’t I’ll do the other thing.” I do not think that is the best way of looking at it. I would much rather say that every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing either into a heavenly creature or into a hellish creature: either into a creature that is in harmony with God, and with its fellow-creatures, and with itself. To be one kind of creature is heaven: that is, it is joy and peace and knowledge and power. To be the other means madness, horror, idiocy, rage impotence and eternal loneliness. Each of us at each moment is progressing to the one state or to the other.

That explains what always used to puzzle me about Christian writers; they seem to be so very strict at one moment and so very free and easy at another. They talk about mere sins of thought as if they were immensely important: and then they talk about the most frightful murders and treacheries as if you had only got to repent and all would be forgiven. But I have come to see that they are right. What they are always thinking of is the mark which the action leaves on that tiny central self which no one sees in this life but which each of us will have to endure—or enjoy—for ever.

To me, this seems to be a particularly Catholic way of thinking--Catholics, feel free to argue--and though I have no intention of converting, it makes a lot of sense to me. If you’re going to be stuck with ‘you’ forever, it behooves you to try to become the type of person that you want to be stuck with for that long. After your threescore and ten are done (plus change, if you’re lucky/unlucky), all opportunities for modification will be past. To put it in geek-speak, in the eternal life realm, you'll have all the features and bugs that you’re ever going to have. Apart from radical change, a person is always headed in one direction or the other; therefore the time to make changes is now.

Life is short. Well, this one is.

Comments

[Og]

A good friend once described the difference between Catholic and Protestant as this: To a Protestant (and he was referring predominantly to Calvinists) salvation is a destination; to a Catholic, it is a journey.

I think it's a journey.

[A Proud Veteran]

Salvation as journey makes sense when you think of the NT comment that we are to "work out our salvation in fear and trembling." Salvation as destination also makes sense to me, maybe because I'm a life-long Protestant, and it's how I'm used to thinking about it.

My biggest conundrum, typically, is the "we are made perfect/being made perfect" verse (in Hebrews, I think?). Maybe that verse is saying that it's both journey and destination?

One thing though, in that last paragraph, J... according to Paul, we'll be given a new body. My interpretation/expectation has always been that this new body will be bug-free. It's been forever since I've read M.C. - does Lewis address that thought?

http://www.wordpicture.org/rheehistory.htm Try it.................

[David Cobb]

Actually the earlier link on Rhee was sent by me--not Proud Vet-as indicated---a glintch?

[baldilocks]

APV: True, but I'm not talking about the body at all. Paul says nothing about a new personality. That is what I'm talking about and what I'm sure Lewis was referring to also.

[baldilocks]

David: I don't see any name in that post.

[skinner]

try being raised Mormon talk about a load of brainwashing and guilt I still feel they were right about alot of things but I HATE religions that claim there the only one that will send you to heavon what a crock Besides I hated those uptight bastards so much that even if that was true Id settle for a different level just to get away from them I dont beleive in organized religion anymore than I do disorganized religion all though the latter sounds more fun! GOD is real The ten commandments are real LOVE youre brother and if you can help him and drag him up... by all means do it You are blessed[ by this opportunity ]

[skinner]

Whether you like it or NOT
Every man woman and child
{ on this Earth } Is your
Brother . They always were
and always will be

[A Proud Veteran]

Oh, Personality! Sorry, I was thinking bodily.
Gosh, now you've given me a whole new realm to ponder. Thanks! :) If that's true, it's another reason to be grateful for my 3 years of therapy. LOL

I think David was confused because the post author shows below the post, and thus might be perceived as authoring the comment below their name rather than above.

[Michael]

Welcome to the process of sanctification. The more I learn, the more I realize how far I have to go. :P

[The Nirvana Poster]

Protestants believe salvation is both a destination & a journey (and so do many Catholics). You have a one time salvation experience where through faith alone (not works) you cross from death to life. But that is the beginning of your journey. It's like a slave that is set free. The day they are set free their identity shifts but it takes a life time to learn to live in freedom.

[Timmer]

I believe in God, I simply don't have any trust for most of His earthly PR men.

But kudos for trying out C.S. Lewis. He's not easy by any stretch.

[V the K]

Thanks for the post, Baldi. I have to give a talk in my church, and I was already thinking along the journey/destination line, and I may borrow from it. (You wouldn't know it to read my blog, but I am a Christian --- albeit of the Glenn Beck sick, twisted, freak variety.)

[Keith]

Very good post, Baldi. As a Catholic we are used to guilt as
most anything can be a sin. God is
real. He even answers your prayers
sometimes. He also has a keen sense
of humor.

[Taleena]

I'll quibble with you though i am not Catholic. We will be perfected in Christ, I don't think that is the point of what Lewis was trying to get across. I linked my post on this 'cause typepad will not let me trackback.

[Indigo]

Now this is what I'm talking about, Juliette. GREAT POST!

[karrde]

Thanks for opening up this subject, Juliette.

I have several times considered opening it on my (small) blog, but never found the right words.

I can remember reading Mere Christianity myself, when I was transitioning from the attitude of "My parents always told me to believe in God" to the attitude "I believe in God because I am convinced that He is real."

The idea you mention--the idea of a human being becoming something either angelic or demonic through a large number of small choices--is one that Lewis revisits in several different places in his writing. When I began to get the idea, I was frightened by the eternal enormity of the small choices in my life.

As you say, this life is indeed short.

[skinner]

If you truly beleive in God then you know right from wrong and you
,simply, dont make wrong, selfish decisions/choices , cause you know its gonna tear you up until you rectify it . Its pretty simple .Beleive me Im talking from experience

[skinner]

Just reread what I wrote above A bit arrogant Beleive me, I still make dumbass mistakes and say things I wish I could take back but I realise it and try to fix it and usually God allows me to forgive myself for being an idiot

[Jacob]

I am a recent convert (reconvert, actually) and what was amazing to me was the joy and love obvious in many of my church's oldest members. I think they have definitely gotten closer to Christ over the years. Certainly closer than me! So that's my vote that salvation is definitely a journey (not saying it isn't a destination).

[John]

I have never grasped the idea that an error in the first years of life could not be corrected in an eternity. Im a recently converted Catholic and its my only sticking point. I suppose a shaken baby might have brain damage all of its life and maybe a shaken soul is analogous. But i dont like the idea.

[Steve]

I know it may be a little unpopular to say in these times but salvation for a Christian is based on the blood shed by Jesus Christ on the cross at Calvary.

I think the Christian's part is to rely on that and have faith in that as something God has done as he had planned to from the beginning of creation out of love for sinful mankind. (You know, the passage about how he knew and loved us before we knew and loved Him.) That shed blood has deposited to us, or made up for our lack, that is apparent in man's inherited nature. This would naturally have to be God's initiative and His doing not man's. That, I think, is somewhat the "hope" and the "faith". And as for more along those lines there is also this:

1 Corinthians 2:9 Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
-------------
I like the Bible in many ways and I wish I would get back to it again and forget what everyone has said or assumed it means of me. I just can't seem to focus on it right now.

[Bill]

Thanks, Baldilocks, for the 'Jesus-preaching' - it was precious. I found the "Salvation is a destination/journey" point further down the page to be interesting (and true to some extent) but also enjoyed Michael's post of October 24, 2005 at 07:01 AM. It is good to be encouraged that primarily, salvation is an event brought about by God's grace. Indeed, we are to work out our own salvation but I have long understood that to mean that we are to bring out in our lives that which was placed in us by God’s grace through faith (Eph. 2:8.) The same passage goes on (verses 9-10) to tell us that the good works that follow are a result of the salvation, not the cause. One of my mentors (thanks Wanye) says good works is the “fruit”, not the “root” of our salvation. Praise Him!