Heck, I never had any plans on voting for the guy, but this stuff is just too ugly (literally) to let pass, even for one's political opponent. Memo to Kerry campaign: please cease and desist with the sports pictures of your champion or tell him to get over the need to pose for them. They're not helping him.
I've seen a couple of fugly President Bush pics, but not many. On top of being less fugly, he has better people.
(Thanks to Blogs for Bush and LGF)
UPDATE: For publicizing these photos, the Commissar declares me an Enemy of the Revolution. Большое спасибо!
Sweeeeet!!!
Yo sKerry, keep your eyes on the ball when heading! And quit scaring the girls. [/heckling]
Posted by: AH·C | October 18, 2004 at 08:18 PM
Jesus, he practically looks embalmed in that first picture. Not the image people care to project, I'm thinking.
Posted by: Sonetka | October 18, 2004 at 08:48 PM
captions-
#1 Grandpa Kerry absentmindedly wanders onto a soccer field and gets his lights knocked out by a hard shot, to the delight of all.
#2 "This is how my quarterback throws the ball when I play electric buzz-table football", Kerry quips.
#3 Kerry demonstrates to his politely embarassed entourage a fun way to pass out large chocalate eggs during Halloween.
Posted by: torchy | October 18, 2004 at 08:49 PM
Second picture: still committed to denying American armed forces weapons such as bunker buster nukes in favour of spitballs and footballs, presidential candidate John F. demonstrates his national defence posture.
First picture: presidential candidate John F. Kerry tries an unorthodox therapy to straighten out his drug-swollen face.
That last, unfortunately, is for real. John F. Kerry's face, like Michael Jackson's, is a work in progress. It's been botoxed, drugged orange, and retinted to suit the cameras for the presidential debates. It's a mess. Look at his puffy, swolen mug here. Maybe he needs a lot of days off as his face goes through chemically induced changes.
If John F. Kerry wins, America will have to get used to a Dorian Grey president.
But he won't win. George W. Bush will win.
Posted by: David Blue | October 18, 2004 at 10:46 PM
The first picture is priceless. It's not so much the pic of Kerry that does it for me. It is the expression on the faces of the people behind him. The guy far in the bak. I can hear him saying "way to get beaned!"
Posted by: cooper | October 19, 2004 at 06:53 AM
The man never takes a good pic, as far as I can tell.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/041015/photos_pl_afp/041015220629_f2mnnscw_photo0&e=5
I think the media would help him if they could, but that image would take a =lot= of work.
Posted by: meep | October 19, 2004 at 07:29 AM
I like the way all the obvious soccer players are leaning as far away as they can from him with a look that crosses between
"Don't you dare hit me with that..."
and
"Is the ball bouncing off his head or his hairspray?"
Posted by: BloodSpite | October 19, 2004 at 09:06 AM
From the Iraqi blog "the Mesopotamian":
THE AMERICAN ELECTIONS
Hi Friends,
Actually, the American elections are rather more crucial for us at the moment than our own . That is not to belittle the importance of the latter, but taking a really hard look at the present situation, one cannot escape this conclusion. This statement may annoy a lot of people, but we are not particularly concerned about sensitivities at the moment. The thing is that we have to admit that despite the fact that most emphatically, the majority of the Iraqi people are for the new Iraq, and that the “insurrectionists” do not represent but a small minority, nevertheless the balance of forces on the ground would be seriously upset were it not for the support of the American and allied forces and nations. This small minority is dangerous, desperate, ruthless and absolutely prepared to commit any kind of atrocity to further their aims and vent their spleen, as has been clearly demonstrated almost everyday. They are well financed and connected with parties and interests beyond the border who consider it a matter of life and death to thwart all U.S. efforts and abort this attempt at creating a democratic state in the area. There are even larger international forces at work behind the regional players. So with all these foes it cannot be expected that the fledgling new Iraqi state and the largely peaceful and unarmed people can withstand the assault on their own in the present stage of development. It is a foregone conclusion that any abandonment or retreat would result in the most catastrophic consequences both for the Iraqi people as well as within the context of the wider global war on terrorism. Having said that, it is also important, to ease the burden on the Multi National Forces and keep them as much as possible out of harms way and stop the losses altogether. This can be done by transferring as much of the routine tasks to the Iraqis while keeping the MNF in secure bases from which they can be deployed for strategic tasks. For us, they are a most valuable asset and must be shielded and used only with the utmost care and parsimony. I believe it is possible to devise such a strategy and that it can be implemented.
Now, do we have a right, as Iraqis to express our opinion about the U.S. elections, which are of course an entirely internal affair for the American people? Or are they?
It seems to me, that since this matter is going to have a direct impact on our lives and very existence and since the U.S. government and people have seen fit to intervene and initiate this profound revolution in our country; it would not be extravagant nor incorrect for us even to demand to take part in those elections, rhetorically speaking of course.
So, I have been, personally very attentive to the debates and positions of both candidates, and I have some thoughts which I would like to share with you, my American friends. To start with, Senator Kerry may be a very good man and quite patriotic. Also we have to respect the almost 50% of the American people who lean towards the democrats. I don’t know much about domestic issues in the States so naturally, as might be expected, the position of any Iraqi would be mainly influenced by the issue that most concerns him. Thus, regardless of all the arguments of both candidates the main problem is that President Bush now represents a symbol of defiance against the terrorists and it is a fact, that all the enemies of America, with the terrorists foremost, are hoping for him to be deposed in the upcoming elections. That is not to say that they like the democrats, but that they will take such an outcome as retreat by the American people, and will consequently be greatly encouraged to intensify their assault. The outcome here on the ground in Iraq seems to be almost obvious. In case President Bush loses the election there would be a massive upsurge of violence, in the belief, rightly or wrongly, by the enemy, that the new leadership is more likely to “cut and run” to use the phrase frequently used by some of my readers. And they would try to inflict as heavy casualties as possible on the American forces to bring about a retreat and withdrawal. It is crucial for them to remove this insurmountable obstacle which stands in their way. They fully realize that with continued American and allies’ commitment, they have no hope of achieving anything.
On the other hand if President Bush is reelected, this will prove to them that the American people are not intimidated despite all their brutality, and that their cause is quite futile. Yes there is little doubt that an election victory by President Bush would be a severe blow and a great disappointment for all the terrorists in the World and all the enemies of America. I believe that such an outcome would result in despair and demoralization of the “insurgent elements” here in Iraq, and would lead to the pro-democracy forces gaining the upper hand eventually. Note that we are not saying that President Bush is perfect, nor even that he is better than the Senator, just that the present situation is such that a change of leadership at this crucial point is going to send an entirely wrong message to all the enemies. Unfortunately, it seems to me that many in the U.S. don’t quite appreciate how high the stakes are. The challenge is mortal, and you and we are locked in a War, a National Emergency; and in such circumstances partisan considerations must be of secondary importance. If you lose this war, you are no more, and you will have to withdraw within you boundaries cringing and waiting for terror to strike you in your homeland, afraid to move around, afraid to travel, afraid to do business abroad. You will have to see all your friends abroad annihilated and intimidated and nobody will have any confidence or trust in you anymore. And you will have to watch from far with bitterness the forces of darkness and evil taking over in many parts of this earth, with feelings of impotence and inability to do anything about it. In other words you would lose all credibility, and the fiends of terror and obscurantism would go triumphantly dancing the macabre dance of mayhem and death, and darkness would descend and obliterate the light and the hope. You think I am exaggerating, you think I am being paranoid? I just pray that destiny would not prove all these things; I pray that these horrors will not come to pass. And all this for what? For failing to confront few thousands ex-baathists and demented religious fanatics and some common criminals, concentrated in some rural areas of a country of the size of just one of your states; and that for a nation that has defeated Natzism, Imperial Japan and the Soviet Empire!
Well if Senator Kerry is such a good man, and he may well be, then it would be prudent to wait just another four years to elect him, after the job is done. And if this is interference in your national affairs by a foreigner, I am not going to give you any apology for it.
Salaam
# posted by Alaa : 3:42 PM
Posted by: wayne | October 19, 2004 at 09:45 AM
I think you've hit on the new Bush catchphrase: "Less fugly than the other guy."
There's something disturbing about the Kerry fetish for sports photo ops. Maybe he's trying to erase those early pics that featured him in neon form-fitting lycra spandex. Or trying to prove he's a regular guy. Beats me. But it seems downright weird and utterly fake. I hope he keeps doing it.
Posted by: lyle | October 19, 2004 at 12:04 PM
OMG! ROFLMAO
Those are awesome!
Posted by: Ginny | October 20, 2004 at 06:10 AM
Hey, can you post something new so that that picture is not the first thing I see when I load up your blog. It's really starting to spooke me.
Posted by: Samantha | October 20, 2004 at 10:16 AM
Juliette- *giggling* "fugly." I haven't heard that word in a loooooong time. Thanks for the laugh :D
Posted by: Rae | October 20, 2004 at 11:23 AM
Samantha: LOL! I'm working on it.
Posted by: baldilocks | October 20, 2004 at 01:16 PM
I want to Photoshop some eyeballs on his eyelids in the first one. I'm behaving instead.
Posted by: teal marie | October 20, 2004 at 03:57 PM
Okay, I'm done behaving.
OT Miss Martha Pilfers Fruit in Prison
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,136084,00.html
or click my name
Posted by: teal marie | October 20, 2004 at 04:05 PM
I think John Effing Kerry must have put on his Halloween mask a couple of weeks early....
Posted by: CrankyBeach | October 20, 2004 at 04:29 PM
Remember the first JFK? How sick he was and having all those photo ops engaged in vigorous activities? Besides the vigorous activities involving bimbos, I mean.
The whole idea of the touch football and crap that J Kennedy made sure he was seen doing was to dispell the rumors about his health.
With that memory in mind, take a gander at The Hee-row. Doesn't he look like he'd have to get better to be on his deathbed?
There are only two possibilities, either The Hee-row is so narcissistic that he doesn't realise how dorky he looks or the rumors that keep buzzing around about his health concern him and his handlers so much that they are willing to put up with the dorkiness.
Posted by: Peter | October 20, 2004 at 09:03 PM
The phrase 'dorkboy' leaps instantly to mind. (has no one told him that his sports ops are close enough to Tess' apologies as to make no difference?
"Hey Senator, catch this!
"Большое спасибо"
,,, is that the Commisar calling you something unprintable, or your anatomically-impossible response? (chuckle) Ohh,,, having looked at his page, nevermind.
Posted by: SemiOnager | October 21, 2004 at 12:38 PM
I could probably have helped myself, but I didn't. Your posting fit perfectly into yet another bitchslap at the pretender.
Posted by: SemiOnager | October 21, 2004 at 12:42 PM
SO: :-) It's merely "thank you very much," though I have cussed the Commissar out in the vernacular before.
Posted by: baldilocks | October 21, 2004 at 01:34 PM