Un-Banished

Generally, I don’t make a big to-do about linking or de-linking to a blog. If a blogger has a nice body of work, I’ll simply add it to the blogroll. Conversely, if a blogger hasn’t posted in a while, states his/her intent to quit blogging or the blog manifestly no longer exists, I’ll simply de-link the blog without comment (with one or two exceptions). I’ve only de-linked one blogger for cause.

Once upon a time, there was a mass de-linking of a popular blog. The post for which the de-linking occurred was indeed offensive, and, for me, personal. The sentiments expressed in that post I agreed with, to a point. However, the way it was expressed and the use of my blog to back it up were over-the-top. As we all know, one can express a thought in whatever manner one chooses. If they choose to be blunt—as I often am here—they can still choose the proper queue of words: straight-forward need not mean distasteful. The words used were racialist (to borrow Francis W. Porretto’s term). Now, I’m not one of those people who believes that the n-word coming out of any non-black person’s mouth is automatically a fighting word. If you’re using it to make a non-offensive point (as Francis does in the post linked, or as Mark Twain famously did), I’ve no problem with it.

To give a contrasting example, in Mr. Porretto’s post, he also uses the words “honky” and “ofay,” offensive terms for white people among black Americans. The blogger in question even consistently refers to himself as a “cracker.” I would never use those terms, except to make a specific point—as I am doing right here.

Before the posting the widely-denounced missive in question, this blogger had used the n-word to spell out specific, cogent points. That wasn’t the case in this post, however: it was used to intentionally inflame and it served its purpose indeed. Additionally, a link to my blog was used to back up its validity.

More even than having the n-word batted around carelessly, I hate being embarrassed in public or used for any purpose (without my permission), especially when it comes from someone I consider to be a friend. However, I usually won’t reciprocate the offense to that friend, even if the friend deserves it—not unless they push me.

So I quietly de-linked him and we handled our business in private. I hate unnecessary drama.

“A gentleman never gives offense intentionally,” Francis reminds us. (I thought that a gentleman never gave offense *unintentionally,* but either version is rhetorically useful.) Call it Christian charity, call it mercy, call it caring about someone who never claimed to be a gentleman, call it whatever the heck you want to call it. I am choosing to publicly re-link Gut Rumbles.

I don’t expect the crazy old buzzard to be grateful. I accept him as he is which, of course, doesn’t mean that I won’t call him on his BS when warranted. I may do it private, I may not. Does he deserve being re-linked? Heck, no. But who among us deserves anything we get?

Comments

[RickinVa]

So...

What's it take to get linked up for the first time?

:)

[baldilocks]

Reminding the absent-minded, Rick. :-)

[RickinVa]

Thank ya ma'am...

At 44, I know a bit about the absent-minded deal...

Really sucks...

[joatmoaf]

Well I`m linked to your fine blog that`s what`s important :)

[John]

You have a big heart. We need to attach one of those breathalizer units to his computer so he can't type when under the spell of Demon Rum!

[wes jackson]

You have unlimited class Juliette. I understood your de-link at the time, but I knew you were buds, so I knew it pained you to take such a move.
The de-link was indeed justified. Your RE-Link shows what an allegiant heart you possess!
You are trully an example to be emulated by all!

[Mrs. du Toit]

Whenever I go again looking for the perfect definition of "Christian Charity" (not meaning handouts or soup kitchens as it has come to be used), but an act of kindness from the heart, unashamed heart over head, I'll just link to this post. If people don't get it after reading this post, they never will.

[Mike James]

When thinking of Baldilocks, the word "graceful" springs to mind.

[Jim]

Quite literally, standing (1 sailor) ovation here, sis!

Hated to see it happen in the first case, and elated to see it in the second.

Odd coincidence....earlier today, I had commented on Rob's blog, that it was my guess that a bit of unceremonious re-linkage may be occuring out there.

How much better then, than to come here, to my blog-sis' home to find such a magnificent, gracious gesture posted for one and all to see and read.

You, my sweet friend, simply exude class, and it is I who am honored to be associated with you.

Love from your lil blog-bruddah,

Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

[Acidman]

Thank you, Juliette. I DO give a damn, and I have since the day you started your blog.

[Eric]

..beautiful post, Juliette..

[og]

One of the proudest days of my life is the day M. Juliette linked to my pathetic blog.

Acidman, on the other hand, well, I couldn't get through a week without him.

[Rivrdog]

No offense intended here ma'am, but what is the big deal about linking or de-linking? Blogging is simply the public expression of personal thought. If you find something that offends you, stop reading it and don't refer to it. Conversely, if you find something that you like, you can say so and or link to it.

The blogroll of a blog is not controlled by some pompous government regulation. If you update your blogroll by adding to it or deleting from it, that is likewise a personal decision.

In evaluating the worth of a blog, I look to content only. Content is composed of the elements of creative concepts and writing proficiency.

I view with suspicion any blogger who would make any kind of fuss, positive or negative, about linking or delinking another blog.

That smacks of ego projection, which is NOT an essential element of writing.

[baldilocks]

Rivrdog:

Um, that's the point. I normally don't make a big fuss one way or the other. This was special case. Did you read the post at all?

View me with whatever lense that suits your fancy. This isn't about you.

[JT_Hunter]

Lady, you have a bigger heart than I do. I stopped linking to him over a year ago. I find many things from him to be offensive, not just about race. I do not wish to send those that come to my site to a site I do not go to. I wish him well, and read him from time to time. Usually I come away with the same impression of him. I link to your site because I think that we share common values. I am not suggesting that you are wrong, no, not at all. Actually you may be more right than I am. I link to you and am proud to do so. I would not be proud to link to Rob.

[Jennifer Martinez]

Hmm, I'm stuck on this "ofay" word. I've never heard of it.

Jennifer Martinez sends

[Rivrdog]

As a matter of fact, I did read it. The.Whole.Thing.

I'm afraid you didn't get MY point, which was that decisions on linkng or delinking have zero to do with the content of one's blog, are simply housekeeping, and shouldn't require any discussion.

Shakespeare said it best: Methinks you protesteth too much? (or similar).

[Jeremy Pierce]

You didn't actually use any of those words. You mentioned them. You were talking about the words themselves, not using them to say something about someone else. I mentioned the n-word to someone the other day in a context much like yours, and he told me if I called him that word he'd beat me up, but he didn't consider my mentioning the word offensive at all.

[baldilocks]

Jeremy: Exactly.

[bleedingbrain]

I love you Juliette.